शोर…हर तरफ शोर

हुत शोर है…

तेरी आवाज़ नहीं सुन पाता
तेरा चेहरा नहीं देख पाता …दिल दुखता है…दर बदर तर बतर
यादो के कैनवस पर रंगों की कलम नहीं चला पाता
यह रंग भी बेरंग हो चुके है लगता है
लगता है यह रात भी ऐसे ही गुजरने को है.
शोर..हर तरफ शोर

मुझे याद है वो कॉलेज की गलिया
जहा अक्सर तुमसे नज़रे मिल जाती थी
हलचल सी एक मचती थी माथे पे लकीरे तन जाती थी
तुम्हारा वो मुस्कुराके देखना
तिरछी नजरो से घायल कर जाना
आज घायल मन को दवा भी रास ना आती है
मंजिल के सामने होके भी सांसे थम जाती है
बहुत शोर है…हर तरफ हर जगह हर दफा

मुझे याद है वो चोरी छिपे मिलना
हॉस्टल के गलियों से भाग कर तुम्हारे घर की तरफ बढ़ना
दबे दबे पाँव से थमें थमें साँसों तक
तुम्हारा गुजरना भागना चहकना बहकना
यह दरमियाँ आज ठिकाना पूछ बैठी
हमसे तुम्हारा पता पूछ बैठी
लगता है यह शोर तुम्हे दूर लेके चला गया
मेरे सपनो की कायनात को तुम जला बैठी

आज भी मेरे मन के किताब में तुमको मैंने लिखा है
चाहे जितना भी दर्द हो सुकून मुझे तुम में दिखा है
जानता हू मुमकिन नहीं तुमसे दुबारा मिल पाना
पर हा..मेरे मन के अंतर्मन में तुम को ही रखा है
मैं जानता हू यह दुनिया बहुत छोटी है
कही न कही तो तुमसे जरुर मुलाकात होगी
और उस दिन तुम्हे भी एहसास होगा
यह शोर ही है सीने में जो तुमसे ही आया है
तुमसे ही जायेगा तुम्हारा होके रह जाएगा

हर तरफ यह शोर तुम को मुझ तक पहुचायेगा
तेरी आवाज़ को मेरी धड़कन बनाएगा
सुबह कि पहली किरण से तुमको यह जगायेगा
यादो के कैनवास को रंगों से यह सजायेगा
रहने दो जरा सा शोर जिंदगी में
तनहा हमसे न जिया जाएगा

लगता है आज यह दिन ऐसे ही गुजर जायेगा
शोर..हर तरफ शोर

बस यही शोर रह जायेगा
बस यही शोर रह जायेगा


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Demurring the Dalliance…

Yes I was wrong
in my own perspective
Giving it all up for the ante i had created
once for you and now for myself
Wrong in the correct sense
with ephemeral love of yours
Your glamour made me blind
Blind from within and closed out
Fearing the ultimate opulence will spell its cast on me
I hesitated a lot thinking about us
About you i was null
About me i was dead
Miracles do happen i thought
I collected my conscience and ran
Ran away from you and your feelings
The thorns of the poor little love was hurting
Bleeding my heart blue i came back to you

You held me up like a criminal
A filth surrounded my soul
A hatred anguished with dark desires
You became my nemesis my dear little love
Like a Pyrrhic spoilt-brat
I wandered here and there and where not
Lastly lost you to a silly mistake
An unknown identity faked by the truth and decorated with self pride
My heart stopped and i fell down
I saw my own downfall unto you
Like a feather falling apart the bird unknown about its destiny
Flowing with the wind and shifting shapes from within
Black, blue, green, yellow, struggling for mellow
Burning from inside and losing my face
I surrender and seek penance now for the misdeeds
for the promises for the hope for the ultimate sacrifice

I was not the one you dream of
Never been so wrong and would never question again
A new lease of life is a far possibility now
I will die like this forever
Demurring the dalliance i would happy pass away
would never argue would never crave for you
My emotions are all wrought and gone
I will not look back will never come back
to you
will never come back to you.
No and Never.


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A Book Called ‘Relationship’

Yesterday i got a book
A book called ‘Relationship’
It was hidden, kept in an old box
Dusting the dirt off my shoulder
I took the book gently into my rough hands

First it felt like a feather…gentle and sober
The title was blue italics and underlined
the author was Anonymous and pseudonymous
Disguised like my feelings to handle the book
I thought would be easy and carefree

It started with an I..an I everytime
I searched for the “You”…oh dear where are you?
I kept turning the pages until i find the “Us”
and that changed my complete perception
A belief that may not be so true

There was the story of a boy
who was stuck somewhere, confused and deterred
who feared the consequences of the beautiful smile
the rosy cheeks, blue marble eyes
The struggle of love and despair

A gentle breeze followed the kite
Blue with Yellow Thread Tied so right
The kite was fearful of the stormy winds
The thread was strong and helped the boy
The boy was happy he won the race

Few pages were missing
I thought to complain
But wait,
Who am i to decide the author’s fate?
Let him skip some bad realities
Let him add a few beautiful lies

I slept with the book when i was tired
I kept it inside my office bag
I read it every day and night
Cause it’s the book called “Relationship”
And i was new to it

I cried that day when i lost the book
it was gone like a bad memory
But i found the missing pages beneath my pillow
They don’t make sense to me
Cause i lost the “Relationship” and i can’t add the pages anymore
I cant add the pages anymore

I went to the road where i last walked
I searched down the street and coffee shop
I went to the bar and the multiplex
The supermarket and airport lounge
Every single step was like a ring with a broken heart
A diamond with a blunt face
A pen with a slit nib
A mirror with a broken glass

With the burnt pages deep in my heart
I knew somewhere the author will weep
I’ll wipe off the tears and mend the soul
I’ll fix the nib and fill the ink
I’ll make the cover Red Bold and Capitalized
I’ll write a book called “Relationship”
And it will not get lost anymore
It will not hurt you and me anymore

It will not hurt you anymore
not me anymore

Con  Amore.


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Memoire De Toi

We both will cross paths again
I will say nothing

All i would like to give is a smile and a final goodbye.
I will never ask you
Never question you
Never give any explanation too

You may want to talk
You might have some rough memories
May be i would like to sit with you for a final lullaby
I will never say anything
Never utter any bad
Never share my memories with a person so untrue

I will honour you
for the happy times
for the riverside, orchid white desires
I will look upto
for the crimson hue, lovers two bleeding blue
I will never die
Never ever try to bother you
Never air my thoughts of me and you

Together, we saw us nowhere
Nether, ever think of you
I promise, i will stand up
to Live not Love, without a clue
I believed in you
and will never do

The path is dry and i can’t see you
Didn’t call for you
When i was lost
Cause i know, you will be far away with a reason too
Too hard to say
I will cry with you
My eyes are dry like a desert moon
With illusion and deception
like the color blue

We both will cross paths again
I will say nothing
I will die with memoire de toi.
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You are my Sol…I am your morning Sky.

I wake up
Like every morning
With you..your thoughts..your never-ending memories
Etched on my mind like a inkblot spread allover the white
Visible yet not real…not at all.

You whisper in my ears
I fail to listen. i just hear.
I roam around seeking your presence
Your odor your substance…invisible.

Your violin.
You make my heart go pound
What a beautiful enchanting sound!
Your fingers when touch the strings
Sprinkles of love and warmth all around.

Your eyes do the talking
My eyes closed and dry.
No place for your tears. How heartless.
You smile and drink away my pain.

A face so bright like an early morning sky
Red big Sol. Fills up my soul.
your cajoling attire makes me swoon.
Totally enthralled in your limited glory.
Limited cause i don’t find you anymore.

Wish i could get you back. May be next life.
A life less painful. A life more with you.
I wish i could be the man you desired
A man less painful. A man more with you.

I promise. I will never go away. Please come back.
I promise. I will never run away. Run away with you. Us together.
For we together are complete.
Just like the Sol and the morning sky. No darkness at all.
Just like the eyes and kohl. Not the tears anymore.
Juts like the violin and the fingers. I will listen not hear.

Your promise is my promise.
Your beauty is my pride.
Your honesty is my valor.
Your music is my soul.

I wake up.
Morning is here to stay. No darkness.
Only you and me.
Shining brightly and together.

Let me dream a little.
Let me die some more.
Let me unite with you.
For you are my Sol and i am your morning sky.


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It’s NOT at all easy

They Say it’s Easy…

Easy to forget your past.
Your past relations
Truth is. It’s not
It’s not easy to forget your first love.
The time you were ‘One’ together,
together you wished a world.
A world full of hope and lots of promises
They Say it’s Hard…
Hard to believe you broke up
Your union was once liked by all, attended by some and blessed by many.
Now Your present is doubtful
Hated by the two of you. 
You get scared.
Less hopeful. A little less loved.
More bruised then before
A broken heart unwilling to heal
Not Bleeding, Nor Crying…
Not Beating any more..Just Chaos.
You don’t believe in fairy-tales now
You started writing nowadays..meaningless writings.
Living behind the doors is your mania, your new found love.
Your fears have occupied your mind
You dont believe and trust anybody now.
But yes
You are a little hopeful
You want to get attention
A little care and a lot of pamper
You want to be free but 
you want to fly with someone
Side by side…until the dusk is set 
The night is lonely and dark with uncertainties
You dont know why.
You know now
You will be loved by no other than just you
You will decide your own life
You will sing your own song
A song full of love yet to be written
Loved by the two of you.
True love is gonna happen now. You Believe.
You open your arms to a new dawn
A sun full of yellow
A yellow full of life
The fire inside you is burning your desire
Hot enough to burn you to ashes
You let it burn and you slowly die
Love kills and makes you immortal for life
They Say…It’s Easy to Die
With your past relations
Truth is.It’s not.
It never was.
It never will.
I will miss you till time immemorial
You are alive in my heart
My stories and my poems
My soul. My Desires get wings by your thoughts
They Fly to the horizons to touch you 
And return back to me with your messages
I cry and hide my tears 
From you .
My tears have lost their MEANING now.
I have lost my meaning to you.
Good bye. Forever. 
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I was walking down the lane one day
With your memories by my side
Suddenly i met a beautiful one
the one with the golden heart
A heart full of light and less of hurt.

That beautiful one had a pretty smile
A smile i could not resist
I asked her where she came from
She replied me smiling
I live in your thoughts
I sleep in your dreams
I laugh in your joys
I cry in your grief
I came from the ocean of your emotions
Quenching your everlasting splendid desires

I run with your fears and rain your way
I walk with your success and make your day
I swim with your tears and tear your fear
I drive with your thoughts, so far so near
Never i felt this way before
Never i had this dilemma
There is something i need to say

There is something i need to say, nay
This feeling is no more now
I learnt this long ago
I never told you this, never thought like telling this
Cause it may hurt your heart

Now i know this life is an illusion
A mirage of sunken dreams
Let us not say something more tonight
Let us not fight again
Let me be myself
and Let this blood go down the lane

I remember the day 
You were wearing white cotton
Sleeping in the coffin
Full of wet dark red roses and some few dry white ones

I thought to myself
I will never get you back
I lost a Life
Life…is not so easy

I was walking down the lane one day
With your memories by my side
Suddenly i met a beautiful one
the one with the golden heart
A heart full of light and less of hurt.

“With Love forever”


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There is a fire…Burning all alone

There is a fire within me
That helps me to fight for my existence
There is a thunder
That lights my sky of darkness to a sudden surprise
It usurps me, trembles me, terrifies me
Still it incites me to fight with it for my own existence

I never felt the fear to perish in its angst
My own dilapidated soul is searching for the answers
For the questions that are haunting my pasts
And my future
I wonder where lies the secret testimony
of my ever grandeur and majestic faith

I believe for the theories that never will lie
I believe for the powers that never will die
I believe for the destiny that we will achieve someday
For the moments of happiness that together we believe.

Someday i will rise again, i will shot the fame
I will touch the sky and write my name
on the golden pages of the history of mankind
for once i will be the ruler of my own dreams
my own ambitions and purpose of life

There is a fire…still burning inside me…forever and ever.


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Last Night…

Last night…
she came to my dream
she came to whisper her dream
and make my dream her dream
and her dreams mine

Last night…
i was perplexed
thoughtful with doubts
the whole world was changing
changing my perspective
but i was constant

She told me…
i have a beautiful song for you
filled with love and a little sorrow
love when we sing together
sorrow as if there was no tomorrow

She told me…
I am here to stay
Stay by your side in every step of life
I was happy and smiling with my broken heart
I was happy to see her smile
a little less now

Last night…
I cried a lot
as if there was no tomorrow
there was sorrow and little love
love that was no more 
More was me less was her

Last night…
I was singing
a beautiful song 
that came to my dream
she was smiling in my dream
and i was happy all alone
All alone.

Yes she told me…
Last night
In my dream that never happened to be.
It was a dream.


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A Longing Forever…

A message popped up on His mobile screen
Surprised and Gloomy eyes,
A night, very silent night
turned out to be a pleasant night

Replied back.
He waited…
“Found your profile interesting. Wanna connect?”

He was happy. The screen was glaring with his big smile.
“Yes, 🙂 “

The smile on his face grew bigger. A happy face.

A coffee shop,
Two cups of cold coffee and one plate of Red Velvet.
A small spoon and two happy hearts
Lots of teasing and laughter
A used napkin and a tip of forty

A Promise with a purpose between the fingers
A Dream shared on the white muslin
A Warmth felt between the two love-struck souls
The arrow left the cupid’s bow and hit them hard
the three words were spoken by them
This time with less efforts.
For the very first time

Morning chats, a little to a little bit more
More towards the night
The night was dark and full of moon
A moon full of light shining through the window curtains
Flying in the sky along-with hopes of the two souls

An envelope with a greeting
A bunch of flowers
Violets  and Red Rose
Ready to be embraced by his love
A love meant to be eternal and for ever.
“Happy Birthday Sweetie”

Friends with some foes
A late night party with drinks
Couples everywhere talking and…
Two hearts alone somewhere, disturbed
The night lasted long
Long lasted the war between the tormented souls
The cupid cried, the arrow broken
The muslin was dirty and the curtains burning
Burning with agony and despair

“I am sorry”
“Not your fault, it went its own course”

A sore eye
A half done cigarette
The night is again silent
Sleepless and Disturbed
Questioning and Answering
Battery about to die…

Sleep was taking a ride on His mind
An empty mind
A lonely heart
Ditched and Hurt and Yearning for more
Some more.

A message popped up on His mobile screen
Surprised and Gloomy eyes,
A night, very silent night
turned out to be a pleasant night

Replied back.
He waited…
“Found your profile interesting. Wanna connect?”

He was happy. The screen was glaring with his big smile.
“Yes, 🙂 “

~P S~

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